Mud 2: the revenge of mud

It’s testing times here. I almost preferred the minus 6 December outings than the drizzly fog of January. Everything is wet. Stuff doesn’t even dry from the day before so you go out damp and the yesterday’s raindrops have rain sex with today’s and create lots of little rain offspring on your back. Then you break into a sweat which stays warm just long enough to meet the chilling onslaught of osmosis from outside. Reach for bidon – about as refreshing as a freezing headwind (talk of the devil…)

Another cyclefucius paradox: body temperature is at absolute zero but outside temperature is just high enough to ensure that snow turns to slush and mud as thick as wallpaper paste (like cycling through a world of gel).

However, unlike ‘hill work‘, ‘slogging through gel work’ does give time for reflection. At one stage, slogging through uphill gel, I pass some downhillers with full face helmets and Super Bowl style armour bouncing happily down and hup … and down a nearby ravine. I’ve got this all wrong, I think. Moments later I pass the Land Rover they came up in. I’ve definitely got this wrong.

Come Summer, though, who’ll be laughing then, huh? Probably still them. But cyclefucius will be tougher! Though throwing yourself down ravines is pretty tough. Dammit, they probably even write good cycling haikus…


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