So much in common with those I pass… or (more often) those that pass me. Yet so many that I really wouldn’t ever want to have coffee with (sounds like a ‘gran falloon’ – Ed.). Here are some actual samples of “conversation” that mostly there is no possible answer to:
1. See that hill? I go up there at 15 kmph!
2. I’ve got a 32 at the back, you know.
3. I’m a pro [pause for impressed reaction] but I just can’t seem to get warm today.
4. I recommend [insert brand] power meter.
5. You should work on your cadence, you know.
6. Is that full carbon?
7. Can I suck your wheel noisily for a while and then out-sprint you at the top of this rise? (Actually they never say that).
8. Slow down, you’re depressing me! (usually good natured).
9. You can do it! (Usually pitying).
10. cyclefucius’s all time favourite: “I used to be like you…”
Naturally no-one reading this has ever been guilty of such a thing… Got any gems heard on the road/trail?